KEY 9: CLEANING UP THE WRECKAGE
Step Nine: “[We] made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Key Nine: “Backed by all the Power of the Universe, I lovingly, directly and honestly make amends in a way that supports the highest good of all concerned.”
The Work
The promise of Soul Recovery requires that we re-interpret events and relationships we have experienced in the past. That is because the stories and interpersonal patterns we have created in the past often do not serve our healing today. Since our past stories were created from a limited set of understandings about our relationship to Spirit, we have the choice between reclaiming and releasing those old stories and patterns—and establishing new ones. The work you have done up to this point has provided space for this process to occur with greater ease.
In our relationships, we have established patterns with the people who have had the most influence over the course of our lives. The process of making amends “renegotiates” our relationship with them, by lovingly and powerfully creating new patterns that serve the highest and best outcome for ourselves and others.
When you have contributed to an unhealthy situation by being selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and afraid, we now understand it is because you felt abandoned, rejected, betrayed, unsafe, etc. (as noted in Key #4). Based on your identity as a spiritual being, I would say that you have subconsciously made spiritual “agreements” or “contracts” with the people you have hurt the most, and who have hurt you the most. You now get to energetically renegotiate a new “contract” with better, more positive terms.
Set your intention by saying quietly to yourself or out loud:
“I face my past mistakes with courage, humility and willingness. Most of all, I face them supported by the love and power of the entire Universe. I am divinely embraced as the shackles of the past fall away from me.”
“I forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made based on fear and the false vision of myself as less than a perfect expression of Spirit. I am forgiven, I am loved. I forgive myself.”
“I energetically renegotiate the painful agreements I have had with people in my life who mirror any false beliefs and negative patterns I have held in consciousness.”
Contemplate
It is harder to go to an enemy than a friend, because we fear rejection and judgment. But I remind myself that I am divinely and spiritually protected as I commit to this courageous course of action.
In order to be restored to wholeness, I must clear away that which makes me feel broken and ashamed.
When I clean up my side of the street, it clears my mind from feelings of guilt, fear and unworthiness.
When I clear up the wreckage of my past and present, I release the negative energy that has blocked me from God—my higher self.
By energetically renegotiating my spiritual agreements with myself and the world, I set a new positive law in motion that operates in my life as peace, love, order, integrity, harmony, abundance and joy.
Journal
What shame are you carrying around that you are now ready to release?
How do you feel when you’re in the presence of someone you’ve betrayed, abused, gossiped about, or owe money to?
Do you feel self-righteous, disempowered, ashamed, awkward, fearful?
Are you afraid they will use your admittance of wrong-doing to take advantage of you in the future? Even if they attempted to do so—isn’t your freedom and power worth enough to you that you will make amends despite that risk?
Could it be that, because you are now in harmony with the infinite loving intelligence of the Universe, you are protected by this alignment?
How do you think you’ll feel once you have cleaned up your side of the street—peaceful, confident, more powerful?
Are you ready to walk with your back straight and your head held high? If so, who are you without all that baggage you’ve been carrying around?
Affirmations
Key Nine—“Backed by all the Power of the Universe, I lovingly, directly and honestly make amends in a way that supports that highest good of all concerned.”
“In the realm of Spirit, there’s only one side of the story, and it is love.”
Action Steps
Return to your work from Key #8. Review each name on the list you generated.
In your Journal, write down the incidents or actions for which you need to make amends. Rank each name from 1 to however-many-names are on your list (for example, let’s say 10). Put a 1 next to the person it would be easiest to make amends with; put a 10 next to the most difficult scenario. Continue to rank each name until you have a clear picture of the easiest person or scenario to approach. It’s important to start with the easiest reparations first, because every successful instance of making amends and taking actions to clean up your side of the street will help you gain momentum and courage to tackle the next scenario.
In a conversation with your spiritual advisor, decide if you should make contact by telephone, letter, email or face-to-face.
Before you approach the person on your list, make an appointment to see your spiritual advisor to get the support you need prior to taking action. Take this opportunity to forgive the person on the list for their wrong-doing in the situation (something you will not be addressing with the actual person), and renegotiate the spiritual agreement that has been made on an energetic level with this person (another area that will not be addressed with the actual person). The purpose of this preparatory work is to make you spiritually and emotionally ready to face the person you’re making amends to, and get clarity about the appropriate action to take.
Ask your spiritual advisor to sit in proxy on behalf of the person you’re going to be approaching. For the sake of this process, perceive and speak to your advisor as if he/she is the person you’ll be making amends to.
The above process with your spiritual advisor is essentially “settling spiritual accounts” on an energetic level—something you do prior to having a face-to-face meeting, making a phone call or sending a letter. This same process can be used to address those people on your list who—by your making direct contact—would create more harm than good. Very importantly, this way of making amends is also one of the most powerful ways for you to settle spiritual accounts with someone who has died, or who is physically unavailable to receive your apology.
Once you have engaged in this process with your spiritual advisor for those you will be contacting, you are ready to make the call, set an appointment for a face-to-face meeting, or send an email or letter, and to follow up with appropriate action.
It is absolutely imperative that you are spiritually centered prior to making amends, and that you have anchored yourself in the work of self-forgiveness and love with your spiritual advisor prior to taking action. Specifically, you might want to review Key #3 prior to making amends, as it will give you strength and courage. And remember: you don’t have to make amends alone. Allow the Universe—and your spiritual advisor—to support you in this process.